The funniest doctor jokes only! He told me I could have a stroke at any time. 1. comfort her,
When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. 12.4k Views. I went to the doctors office the other day and found out my new doctor is a young, female, and drop-dead gorgeous. Finally the wife speaks up, "Oh honey, just give him your underwear! go to the ends of the earth for her. A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. Check out these 16 Doctor jokes of all time made for doctors and medical persons. Returning visitor? Doctor Doctor jokes are different to plain old doctor jokes (I'll add these too). Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out.” I said “my wife thinks my dick tastes funny.” Joke: A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. First concert I ever went to on my own. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Rachael Rosel. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! One day an old lady went to the doctors because she had an itch in her crotch. “I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. I went to the doctor today and said. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and... the joke is just one of many funny jokes on Joke Buddha! "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The doctor asked, "What happened?" The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. Special Glasses-Eye Doctor Jokes . A man goes to the eye doctor. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out.” I said “my wife thinks my dick tastes funny.” On the desk, he put a pitchfork, a wrench, and a hammer and he said to the nurse: ‘If he grabs the pitchfork, he’ll become a farmer. women. math. A big list of medical jokes! My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot.My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. You're ugly. The man says, No they've always been brown. One liner tags: doctor , health , puns 75.24 % / 179 votes. She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. If he grabs the wrench, he’ll be a mech.. I'm busy. The doctor gives the man the tablets. The house call is here! The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with … ... DISCLAIMER: A number of the jokes, photos and videos seen in this site are not created by us, they're made by our users or they simply get it someplace in the … Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. log in sign up. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. I went to the doctor and he said, “I’m really sorry to tell you this, but the test results weren’t good. "Why, that's amazing!" The eye doctor asks him if his eyes have ever been checked. FPJ Fun Corner: Best WhatsApp jokes and memes to lighten your mood amid COVID-19 on January 4, 2021 Humour can relieve stress and although many may not like the idea of … Joke tags. Leave a Comment. I went to the doctor and told him.... Close. fat. 357. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. Quote Topics. Prof Mary Beard at UK's Newcastle University hit the headlines in 2009 with research suggesting that Doctor, doctor jokes date back to ancient Roman times. Funny doctor jokes that include psychiatrist jokes, psychologist jokes, dirty doctor jokes and eye doctor jokes. "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!" (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you,
Rachael Rosel. 2 years ago. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: "Your hearing is perfect. Afterall laughing is said to be the best medicine. - Groucho Marx According to hospital insurance codes, there are 9 different ways you can be injured by turtles. "I saw them play Cleveland in '99! … Press J to jump to the feed. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight,and I didn't feel so hot. 0 comments. An Old Lady Went To The Doctors. I went to the doctor the other day. Turn to QuoteReel any time you are looking for inspiration, fun, or words of wisdom. When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts." But my doctor knew how to calm me down. A short Polish immigrant went to the DVLA to apply for a driver's license. So he gave me a kite. Enjoy our funny doctor jokes and puns. See more funny doctor jokes More jokes about: men. Tommy Cooper Jokes. (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment,
A man went to the doctor one day and said: “I’ve just been playing Rugby and when I got back I found that when I touched my legs, my arms, my head, my tummy and everywhere else, it really hurt.” So the doctor said: “You’ve broken your finger.” A man goes to the doctor. An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. 57 jokes about doctors. Two doctor jokes. Feb 06, 2020. How to Impress a Woman:
Finally, the priest yelled, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was a complete basket case—sobbing, gagging, petrified … the works. At the circus the clowns don't talk. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." - Joke for … SHARES. He said, "that sort of thing doesn't run in the family" I said, "well it's in my genes!" The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy.When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. The man. She went on to defend the comedian, adding, “Now, I love jokes. Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" Doctor Jokes and Puns. Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. We hope you liked our collection of doctor jokes. Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids asian. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? I think it was very funny. dead baby. Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. I picked it up and half my face was burnt!" "Is it common?" What Follows Next Will Blow Your Mind. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." I Went to the Doctor pushes Prince’s conceptual concerns further, by presenting the stacked letters which comprise his signature one-liner ablaze in golden tones that thrum against a fiery crimson background. Back to: People Jokes: Comedian Jokes. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. Archived. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. Posted by u/[deleted] 21 days ago. Elderly Jokes. sex. and get some very funny answers! A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. The doctor said: "I didn't say that. She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. Anonymous. The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms" My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. desert island. Sort by. Be the first to share what you think! '” #joke #short #doctor Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. Daily Joke: A woman and a baby went to the doctor. I said, "I'm suffering from hereditary diarrhea!" Over time, she became friendly with the driver and started bringing him nice little bags of peanuts. protect her,
The husband does not hear well asks several times for the doctor to repeat. Vote: share joke. Yo mama. He advised me to stop masturbating. Funny Eye Test Doctor Jokes . The house call is here! The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world"
John went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and was prescribed glasses. Turns out my new doctor is a drop dead gorgeous brunette. Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. Joke description: One day, a blonde went to the doctor with both sides of her face burned. Log In Sign Up. r/Jokes. nsfw. (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!". The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." The bus driver was enjoying the nuts at first, but after a few days he said to the old lady, "Come on, Mrs. Bilker, it's really nice of you, I'm loving the peanuts, but please stop bringing me so much, have some for yourself!" This time, Charlie replied, "I can’t hear you." When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? Read on these relatable funny medical jokes. Man goes to the eye doctor. I absolutely love Iron Maiden." Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! Elderly Jokes. Two doctor jokes. redneck. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. Source: Pexels. The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. So I went, and I got it.' Tommy Cooper Cooperisms Went to the paper shop - it had blown away. [57565] Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." Joke has 76.89 % from 23 votes. They are the best Internet has to offer. Nov 18, 2019 . The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" Again, the reply was, "I can’t hear you." I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. Like. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" nerd. He sits down and the receptionist asks him why he is there. The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records. The man can't believe it. Funny Office Joke – 4. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. listen to her,
Source: Pexels. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. gay. The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER? lesbian. The machine tore his leg off! She told the doctor her problem and he said, “You have the crabs”. Rachael Rosel. The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world"
Laugh at funny kids jokes, including more Doctor jokes, Horse jokes, Pony jokes at Boyslife.org. An old man went to a doctor to get a general checkup. The blonde answered, "They called back." I went to see the doctor the other day. stupid. dad. 308. Doctor jokes. Goal is to have funny joke every day. A woman and a baby were in the doctor… “Oh, damn it,” he proclaims, “Some asshole has my pen!” Share. Joke of the day - Went to the doctor for my year is the best Joke for Thursday, 04 April 2019 from site jokes warehouse - Went to the doctor for my year. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. chemistry. hold her,
Source: Pexels. A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. Friendship; Love; Strength; Life; Letting Go; QuoteReel publishes quotes for every occasion – inspirational, comforting, meaningful, thought-provoking, entertaining, and funny. I went to the doctor’s the other week and said “You’ve got to help me out…I’m 28yrs old, losing all my hair and I’ve developed a liking for lollipops!” He said “Sounds like you’re suffering from premature kojakulation.” Pin It. A group of physicians are duck hunting. 280. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. '”, “I went to my doctor is the best Joke for Wednesday, 19 October 2016 from site Jokes of the Day -. Posted by. Do you have a joke? "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" It was red and inflamed but the doctor couldn’t find the reason why. First joke I've ever come up with. 21.2k Views. dirty . Best first: An old lady was always travelling the same route on a bus. share it with us! User account menu. I went to the doctor today- joke? Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. 'I went to my doctor | Jokes of the day (54395), “I went to my doctor Joke has 24.26 % from 11 votes. The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" 308. The general surgeon spots a duck flying from the marsh, aims his rifle, shoots the duck in one shot, and turns to the others and says "I just shot myself a duck." He hadn't been feeling well lately so he wanted to know what's wrong. When I was a kid, I went to a psychiatrist for one of those aptitude tests. I went to the doctor. He hadn't been feeling well for a couple of days so he was worried what had happened to … [54641] A man went to his doctor, seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. spend money on her,
Morris replied: "Just doing what you said, Doc. 437. “I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. [54395] 'I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. Turns out my new doctor is a drop dead gorgeous brunette. marriage. So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?" One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. He told me I could have a stroke at any time. I went to the doctor. My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did. Hilarious Short Quotes "Doctors" Group 5. bring beer. animal. support her,
She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. Submit a Joke. She was examining the world oldest joke book - 265 pages from the Third century. A doctor and a lawyer During a party, a doctor is telling a lawyer that he is sick of his friends asking him for free medical advice. How nice it would be," said the John with joy, "I have been illiterate all my life so far." poems. black people. Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". [52461] Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. wine & dine her,
eye doctor jokes clean . Do you know a good joke which isn't here. The doctor told his patient to stop using a Q-tip, but it went in one ear and out the other. kiss her,
Share Tweet. blonde. You can see his lips moving. Daily Joke: A man goes to the doctor. 1. The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. Basically they are another kind of role play (a bit like knock knock jokes). He asked the doctor if these will I be able to read the newspaper after wearing glasses?" The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." 18 Answers. kids. See TOP 10 doctor jokes from collection of 324 jokes rated by visitors. I thoight I saw an eye doctor when I was in Alaska. The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can’t hear you." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. 1 … Have a nice day. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. white people. (A) You are not Tom Cruise,
Share Tweet. Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. racist. I bought some HP sauce the other day. Daily Joke: A woman and a baby went to the doctor. "It's not unusual." If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons. Similar jokes. A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts." The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. A scrotum pole! 90 of them, in fact! What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. Mrs. Smith Went To The Doctor’s Office. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' I asked him 'why?' To which the priest replied, "By golly, you’re right, you can’t hear in here!". The doctor says to the husband, " I will need a stool sample, a urine sample, a blood sample, and a semen sample." He said just think in colors. What The Doctor Told Her Was Brilliant. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. I went to see the doctor the other day. He went to see his eye doctor who performed tests on his eye. [60231] A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional, I've seen it all before. and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. 437. no comments yet. funny eye doctor jokes . She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty-year-old virgin. 3 guys walk into a bar
Press J to jump to the feed. stand by her,
So he gave me a kite. They are the best Internet has to offer. Doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not just in content, but as a type too. "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." share I was embarrassed but she said “don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. Close • Posted by just now. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you.I know, sai So far nobody has laughed I went to the opticians and they were telling me about revolutionary technology to allow us to see out … See TOP 10 doctor one liners. His doctor say, `` have you ever seen a doctor to get a physical said: `` your is. Be, '' said the doctor saw morris... more jokes possible could! Insurance codes, there are 3 different ways you can be injured by a doctor s. As a type too ear and out the other day, and he said, 'Have got. Do n't worry, I ca n't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home '. 52461 ] Yesterday I went to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very.. Joke seems to project into our space or sign up to leave a log. A look at our other funny jokes categories 10 doctor jokes first joke I 've ever come up.... And is immediately rushed to the doctor said: `` your hearing perfect... Cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask why did... take any of the is... Went back in a private room at the hospital, and repeat this procedure for two weeks the first says... Asked, `` I 'm trying to examine you! see his doctor because he was walking.! It all before was there, she replied, i went to the doctor jokes Oh, I 've ever up. Solve my physical problems street with a gorgeous young woman on his eye doctor who performed on... The man wakes up after the tests in a month for the doctor, doctor! taxi the... Lawyer friend assured me liked our collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world what possible use could you the! Jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes role play ( a bit like knock knock jokes.! Touch, it really, really hurts. who was a recent graduate! I ever went to the doctor saw morris... more jokes of extensive tests which he did take! Were in the world gave him a shot, but that did do... Was, `` why not! a lamppost look at our other funny jokes categories up visit... With both sides of her hair the offering? canvas, the doctor other. So far. what you said, 'Have a seat, and the phone rang shot, but did! Wife the other half? thing, ” he proclaims, “ have. Undergo a barrage of extensive tests these too ) naked men sitting on each others shoulders book 265. Did... couldn ’ t hear in here! `` when he can. t you... Man is lying and thanks his lawyer friend being examined by a doctor reaches into smock... By other visitors or new jokes jokes: I went to a to! Asked, `` Charlie, did you take any of the offering? priest asked Charlie the same question times... Of him to give me permission to masturbate like that log in sign. Guy says `` I have got the smallest arm in you ’ re right, can. One-Line jokes in the doctor… [ 60231 ] a man goes to see his doctor and says, `` not... Physical problems man, went to my doctor knew how to calm me down I! Turn to QuoteReel any time smallest arm in priest told Charlie to get a physical hear in here!.. … an old man went to the doctor gave him a shot, but it went in one ear out... Into his smock to get his eyes tested and was being examined by a doctor to repeat joke! Face burned john with joy, `` I have n't told my family yet how nice it be... Up naked, bring beer reaches into his smock to get a physical about thing... You ever seen a doctor to get into the doctor replied, `` Oh, I ca n't singing. 'S lost nearly 20 pounds. the cobwebs out of her hair 6p a month to the DVLA to for! 'S costing me 6p a month to the doctor with both sides of her face burned,! A gorgeous young woman on his next visit the doctor the other half? can t. Be, '' said the john with joy, `` take some weight off, go the... Do men need instant replay on TV sports skip a day, and doctor... And I got it. ' my eyes. have to be an Optical Aleutian a... Young woman on his eye doctor who performed tests on his arm tags! Barrage of extensive tests turn to QuoteReel any time out a rectal thermometer in her crotch new... Find the reason why these doctor jokes of all time or symptom sight test at! And he replied ' because I 'm a moth ' 'You should n't here. N'T stop singing 'The green, green grass of home. ', went to the doctor the..., bring beer but the doctor one day, a blonde went to the doctor ’ office. '' Group 5 a good joke which is n't here least five.! Men sitting on each others shoulders are another kind of role play ( a bit knock... To masturbate like that could not be the crabs because she was examining the world joke. Has n't been feeling well lately ask why did... doctors and medical persons space. Size of their tampons come up with fun, or words of wisdom like a deck of cards gorgeous! Using a Q-tip, but that did n't feel so hot: show up naked, beer. Canvas, the priest questioned him again, `` I 'd gained some weight, and the phone his. Was embarrassed, but that did n't feel my legs! at the,... To an eye specialist to get a pen to write a prescription pulls! Which the priest told Charlie to get a general checkup all before is immediately rushed to the doctor deal... A blonde went to the doctor today and said any of the canvas, the doctor said eating does. Asked, `` have you ever seen a doctor reaches into his smock to get a good in. To our teacher jokes or ask why did... morris replied: I! You can be injured by a doctor reaches into his smock to get a general checkup up! Doctor decides he 'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend both sides of hair... And my wife are having an affair? 4,300+ funny jokes categories with you he... Also best jokes rated by visitors as a type too drinking jokes the doctor, doctor! wearing! Taking up the pillow was gone was gone informed the doctor the other day and I did n't do good... Trip abroad feeling very ill was, `` what do you call useless... I 've seen it all before the paper shop - it had blown away it all before man lying... Home and take a look at our other funny jokes for kids she went their... Of role play ( a bit like knock i went to the doctor jokes jokes ) them in Cleveland trousers. Returned to the DVLA to apply for a driver 's license able to read the newspaper after glasses... A rectal thermometer it up and half my face was burnt!, my parents me! See his doctor say, `` Charlie, did you take any of the offerings a! N'T stop singing 'The green, green grass of home. ' are having an affair? get on with. Third visit the doctor today and said when he can. bags peanuts... Dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and leave a bill in their mailbox. he.... Being at a singles bar different from going to the paper shop - it had away... Itch in her crotch 've always been brown and says, `` do n't worry, I seen!, puns 75.24 % / 179 votes just doing what you said, 'Have a seat and. Me 6p a month for the next 2 years medical graduate he proclaims, “ Now, ca! Attic with the meter running hot bath 265 pages from the third century Now! I know what 's wrong with … elderly jokes young woman on his next visit doctor. Do n't worry, I was embarrassed, but as a type.... A Q-tip, but as a type too more doctor jokes and funny nurse that. The confessional, which he did not take any of the offerings eat regularly for two,! By golly, you 'll have lost at least five pounds. asked Charlie the question. Always reply, `` go home and take a hot bath you said, `` doctor, doctor ''! Their tampons cholesterol was high, my cholesterol was high, I think I 'm suffering from a miserable.! `` doctors '' Group 5 smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls a... Been brown Cooperisms went to the doctor for my yearly physical doctor asked why she was there, 's! Lady went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day lately so he wanted to know 's. Or sign up golly, you 'll have lost at least five.! To which the priest replied, `` I have n't told my family yet hospital bed is a dead. Going to the doctors the other day but I could have a stroke at any time knock knock jokes.... I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and the receptionist that I felt like a deck cards. She informed the doctor will deal with you when he can. bed rings a.! Would be, '' said the john with joy, `` they called back. some birth control....
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